At the present time I am obsessed with moments. I've been thinking of the past a lot and how each memory acts as a puzzle piece not only for the history of my actions but also as a portrait of how I came to be who I am.
The most intriguing moments to me are the ones that are only for me. For example, years ago I liked a girl. We were friends for years and I had a crush on her but she didn't like me romantically. None-the-less, in my corrupt mind remained a level of hope (see "please lie to me a little longer" post). One evening I was at this girls apartment watching a movie. When the movie had ended I got up to leave and I remember walking to the door and turning around to say goodbye one last time before exiting. The reply I received from the girl was "I love you. See you later." It sounds cheesy but I still remember in such great detail that moment where she said, "I love you." She didn't mean it in the way I had hoped but it was something I had wanted to hear from her for so long that at this point the context didn't matter.
But back to the point of this post - that moment is forever ingrained in my brain. When people ask me about past girlfriends and relationships that moment always pops into my mind (although we never dated). I am sure that this girl has no memory whatsoever of this event but that's okay, it's a moment for me.
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2 comments:
you're funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I laught a lot with this post. Everyday I think about that e-mail that I have to answer for you and I have so much to say...I start to write the e-mail and I will be sending it for you full of my moments :)
beijos
We all have moments we like to keep just for ourselves and I think it’s delicious the way you managed to write this one down.
Some of our moments can become ghosts that haunt us…One time, in the land of thousand lakes, one ‘tuff guy’ came into the shared kitchen one morning and asked me if I needed help with breakfast. I heard the words ‘I love you’. This moment still haunts me from time to time, though I now have someone that really says it.
Your writing makes me feel I belong somewhere.
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