18-YEAR-OLD STRIPPERS ARE HARD TO ARGUE WITH

I received a call tonight from a close friend who confided in me that he is cheating on his wife. He's been married for ten years and for the past year he's been rendezvousing with an 18-year-old stripper and a 20-year-old waitress (he's in his early 30's).

I felt sick to my stomach when he told me about his cheating. He says that he doesn't feel guilty and can't really explain why. He knows it's wrong. He talked about going to the bar with friends and having cute girls hit on him, even though they know he's married (don't get me wrong, he is the only one responsible) and how this is attention he doesn't get at home. He doesn't blame his wife though because she takes care of their child and that takes all her attention and effort. He's justifying this rather easily though.

I want to scream at this friend and tell him not to screw up his marriage and family. I want to tell him that I'm jealous of that family of his and can't stand that he's out sleeping with young women behind his wife's back. But I don't feel like it's my place...for several reasons. First off, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be with one person for ten years. There is no doubt that the temptations and desires must be unbelievably strong. And I've never been in a relationship longer than 2 years, which is still way different than being married so...

Anyhow, this is weighing on me pretty heavy. This is a really close friend and I recently spent time with his family. I can't help but feel that this will end badly - and I think this friend is better than this. But I can't really relate to this situation. And I'm questioning whether it's my place to say something or not. Sometimes I think I get involved in things that I shouldn't, albeit with good intentions.

Anyhow, I'd say 70 percent of my married friends have at least one cheating partner. The sad thing is (and it scares me) is that I'm almost getting to a place where I think I'd be understanding of someone cheating on me. I wouldn't want it to happen of course but I think I'm almost coming to expect that it's the norm. How sad is that?

TAKE MY LIFE...PLEASE!

I was having a drink with a friend last week and we were talking about how having children alters your life. Neither of us have children which is why the conversation came up. We both have always wanted a family but are currently at a point where we feel that if it doesn't happen for us, we could live with that.

At one point in the conversation my friend said that when you have children you no longer have your life. Your life belongs to the child. After thinking about this statement a bit I realized I have been ready and willing to "give up my life" for quite some time. Close to ten years maybe. I've wanted to have one purpose - to provide for my family and raise my children well. At least then I would know my purpose. It would be a clear goal for the rest of my life. Right now I have the whole world wide open to me. A billion possibilities, but no known purpose.

Just to be clear - I don't want to have a family just so I have a purpose. That is a secondary result of such an action.

But to stay on the topic of..."choice", I suppose. I remember being a teenager and wanting to go to jail. I didn't proactively think, "I should rob a store so I can go to jail" or anything like that. But I did find a strange peace in the idea of being locked in a cell with no options but to think. Take my choices, I don't know what to do with them. I know this sounds weird. Of course jail isn't pleasant but, at that point, I didn't care much about what was pleasant for me. I just wanted time to sort things out. And I wanted an excuse.

So here I am, 31 years old, single, currently unemployed and plenty of time on my hands to think. A bit ironic I guess. None-the-less, I'm pretty happy with where I am at. I'm more comfortable with the idea of having so many possibilities open to me...but if the right woman comes along (and she wants a family) I won't shed many tears over the diminishing opportunities for my future. If she doesn't come along I hope I take advantage of that "other life" I may be fated for.