A GREAT FRIEND, NOTHING MORE

Apparently I make a great friend. Over the years I have had a half-dozen women ask me to be their husband...IF...they are still single at the age of 35 or 40. FYI - three of these cases are still pending.

At first I took this as a compliment. That somehow they were saying I was worthy of marrying if they couldn't find the "perfect" man. And of course no one is perfect so... But now I consider this an insult. Am I boring? Am I ugly? Am I not sexy? What is it? Why do I make a good friend but nothing more...unless they're desperate and have run out of options before the ol' biological clock stops ticking.

The kicker to all this is that as much as it angers me to think about this, I agree with it. Yes, that's right, I agree. I don't blame them in the least. I would look for someone more exciting, taller, richer, funnier, smarter etc. I would. I can't blame them for that. Half the time when I meet someone who I really like (maybe even love) I feel like my being with them is a disservice because they deserve better. It sucks to feel that way. Some people say it's a commitment issue. I don't agree. To me, it's more of an issue of true, heart-breaking love. A love so desired that even you aren't good enough for the person. Of course, this isn't healthy. But I don't think there is a fix to this except for just moving past it and realizing that the choice is theirs, not mine.

Anyhow, back to the point of the post. Why are so many women willing to make me their second choice and "best option for a last resort." Should I NOT be offended by this?

Ah, fuck it. I'm not sure it matters anymore. I've given up on love...at least until the next cute girl smiles at me. What a shitty cycle.