POOR SHOWING

As you've read I'm very excited about the things going on in my life right now. Its been encouraging - there have been indicators that things are headed in the right direction.

Last night I went out with a couple of friends that were visiting NYC - I hadn't seen them in close to ten years. They were asking me about how things are going and I filled them in on the events that have added some excitement to my life. Half way through the evening I felt like a dope. I felt like I was talking about all these "great" things and it made me look pompous or something. I always hated people that were always talking about all these things in their lives that were "so great." I never want to be that person. I grew very uncomfortable. I felt like they thought I was lying or trying to impress them. When in reality I was just telling the truth...but I still felt like a jerk. Do you know the kind of people I'm talking about? I never want to be like that. Anyhow, I think I'll just keep those things to myself for now on, except for when I'm speaking with really close friends. I think I made a poor showing last night. *sigh*

LETS TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER

A friend recently told me I need to relax. I thought that was odd because I'm typically considered by most people to be a laid back guy. In reality I'm somewhere in the middle. Anyhow, I asked this friend what he meant. He said, I don't think I've ever sat down with you when the conversation didn't turn to some political, philosophical or depressing topic.

He's right. I can't help it. It's what I love most about going to a bar or cafe and sharing conversation with people. I want to know their thoughts on the most intimate topics. It intrigues me. I get bored talking about television shows (unless that show is Seinfeld, Sopranos or the Simpsons) and I really don't care to talk about how the work day went. I want to know if they believe in god, and why or why not. I want to know if they believe in one true love, and why or why not. I want to know what makes them giddy inside, what their family is like and if they could be anything they wanted, what would they be? I can see how people could get really sick of my conversations. How they could even believe they were fake. But they aren't. I truly love this kind of stuff. Tell me a secret and you've given me a gift. I mean, what's more interesting in life than other people?

Yes, I know, I've said before that I could easily become a hermit. And I think I could. People annoy the shit out of me. But I still find them oh so interesting.