THE TEARS ARE STILL MOVING

Lachrimae is alive. I received a message from her this week and I can't tell you how relieved I was. I had such a disturbing feeling leading me to believe she was no longer with us.

Individuals like Lachrimae, people with such deep feelings and desires, are so important to the world. These are the catalysts for change. They foster understanding. They help people see and accept themselves. These people have a connection to the world and feel it's rotations within them. The greatest poets, authors, filmmakers, politicians and leaders of this world have been those who feel so deeply it seems a curse. They don't experience their emotions in their heart or brain...they feel them in their soul.

Inevitably pain is a bi-product of such powerful emotional relations and, by the nature of the individual, must be the toughest to control. Read the great poets and authors and it becomes apparent that pain is certainly the most consistent emotion. But it is through the caress of this hurt that the greatest achievements have been presented to humankind.

Not all people who feel intensely with their soul are going to inspire millions and lead a march to make the world a better place. But through their love, insight, sharing, and empathy they can touch someone, and that someone may touch another and that someone may touch another yet. Or maybe they just help someone live an easier life by feeling less misunderstood or different.

I firmly believe everything in the universe is connected - never underestimate the impact we can have...even in the seemingly smallest of ways.

MY BREAK UP WITH THE DELI GUY

I have two grocery stores near my apartment. For over two years I consistently went to one for all my food shopping needs. About six months ago I tried the "other" grocery store and realized it was a lot cleaner and had wider aisles. So I started going to that one instead.

Today, because I was walking past it and needed one quick item, I went back to my ex-grocery. As I turned the corner from the dairy aisle I was passing the deli counter when I saw my old friend, the deli guy, smiling and waving at me. He asked, "where have you been?" I was flustered. I couldn't tell him I was "seeing" a new deli guy so I told him I had been out of town for several months on business. Yes, I lied. It was spontaneous and I didn't even give it any thought. I just couldn't hurt my old deli friend. For over two years, every week, we would spend several minutes talking about the weather and local street fairs and the like. He always remembered me and poked fun at me for my curious lunch meat selections. And I turned to a new deli guy without even a minor hesitation. And all for cleaner floors and wider aisles. I feel a deep shame.

In all seriousness though, I did realize today how you can impact so many people and not even know it. Although I didn't realize it at the time the deli guy was consistently happy and greeted me warmly each week. That makes an impact. And maybe my five minutes of chatter with him each week mattered in some small way. You just never know.

P.S. I'm still sticking with the wider aisles and cleaner floors. Sorry deli guy.