One of the friends I was visiting on this past trip to Spain is an ex-girlfriend from several years ago. The extent of our conversation over the past two years has consisted solely of 6 e-mails.
After I arrived and we settled in for a few drinks she told me about how she warned all her roommates and friends that we would probably argue and fight the entire time I was visiting. That thought had never crossed my mind.
We ended up having such a great time that she made me come back for one last night before I left Spain for home. She remarked that I had changed so much since we dated. I disagree. I think we both are pretty much the same, just more comfortable with ourselves...which has calmed us.
I realized how much of a reaction we are capable of having strictly out of feeling uncomfortable. For instance, I always considered myself (as other did as well) an angry person when I was younger. I would get riled up fairly easily in a debate and took very hard-nosed stances on topics. I never backed down, instead I would escalate. In retrospect it may have been a little less pure anger and more of a reaction to unwanted confrontation (probably a mix actually). A self-defense mechanism. With age I think I've gotten more comfortable with myself and my outlooks thus lessening my reactions to circumstances. A calming.
I'm not going to get into it now but for tomorrow's post I want to talk about this "calming" as possibly being an acceptance of life which induces less "seeking" which could be a bad thing...maybe...or not...
Stay tuned...
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1 comment:
hum...maybe meeting your ex-girlfriend was the thing that brought all yours retrospective thoughts...
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