First off, I want to apologize for the delay in posts lately...for all two of you who read this blog. :-)
I have been struggling lately in my quest to figure out my next move in life: Do I go back to work for "the man?" Do I try my hand at my own venture? Do I continue writing screenplays although I have doubts in my abilities? These questions have been keeping me up at night and I think I finally settled on trying my own venture, which if it works, will allow me to keep writing and filming a project this summer. Fingers crossed!
I have come to the conclusion however that my disposition in life is not what I would like it to be. The truth is, I will NEVER be satisfied with my life or myself. I'm always looking to "improve" and that is a never-ending process. I'm not sure I will ever allow myself to be "happy." It's too bad, because I have a deep understanding for all the beauty we have been blessed with in this life...which is probably why I have this disposition...I feel a need to give back every ounce I can in recognition of the life I have been granted...and in no way will anything I ever do be good enough.
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2 comments:
Wish I had any convincing statement to address you... but quoting Pessoa was the first instinct after reading this thought of yours...
'I failed at everything.
Considering that I had no goals,
perhaps everything was nothing.
I dodged the training I was given
by slipping through the window
in the back of the house...'
Once again you managed to shape my feelings into words...'and in no way will anything I ever do be good enough.'
I have the same kind of feelings about too much disposition, I'm just tired about being like that and I know what you mean about never being REALLY happy :( About your questions, can't you do all together? like one thing paralel other?? just using the disposition, hahahhaha....
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