WAIT AND HOPE

I just got home from a weekend in Detroit (my home town). I saw my brother and his family, and visited with my Aunts and Uncles as well. It is amazing how much I bitch about being alone and yet when I see first-hand the incredible amount of work that goes into sustaining a relationship my knees buckle. I wonder if I can do it. Or maybe a more honest way of putting it is: I wonder if I really WANT to do it.

On a different subject...sort of. I just finished reading The Count of Monte Cristo. It was a fantastic book - long, but well worth it. The moral of the story is (if you haven't read it but think you may, don't read any further) - that despair can be overcome by understanding the power of two words - "wait" and "hope." The overarching theme of a screenplay I'm currently writing is very similar: "you can't predict the future." These are the themes I need to think about when despair creeps into my life.

There have been times when I wanted to end my life. I never gave it a serious try but, at times, pleaded with God for his mercy. The fact that I'm writing this means it wasn't granted. At least not in the way I had requested. The fact is, I DID receive mercy. The mercy however wouldn't be granted for years after my plea. If there is something I have learned in life (at least as much as we believe we have learned) it's that you never know what is in store. Life may seem worthless or too painful for an effort. But you don't know what lies ahead for you. If you have it within you to "wait" and "hope" you may be pleasantly surprised. And if you aren't...well, at least you'll know.