LIVING FOR TODAY IN FEAR OF TOMORROW

I keep telling myself that if I concentrate on being the best person I can be, I can influence the world in a positive way simply by example. The problem is that I don't know that I truly believe this, and it would be somewhat less gratifying I think.

I'm constantly trying to imagine ways I can contribute to altering society into a more positive direction - whether through a business opportunity or volunteering. But I get overwhelmed by the worlds problems and it seems almost hopeless to think any one person can make such a big difference. I know I should be pleased if I can find a way to contribute towards making ONE person's life better. I think I could find solace in that...but in all honesty I want more. I want to be a part of something that influences change in a major way. I'm greedy.

There is one thought that sits in the back of my head. I try to kill it, try to keep it buried in the dark. But it surfaces from time to time, particularly when I'm focusing on finding solutions to social problems - and in the process finding a direction and purpose in my life. The thought is - does any of it matter? If I found a way to help a million people live easier lives, and then the world ended in a ball of fire, and there was nothing waiting to embrace us after our demise...would it matter? Would any of this matter?

I think I should end this post by saying that I recognize that this is a question that is unanswerable. It has no truth of which I will ever be privy too in this life, so I shouldn't use it as an excuse to keep myself from committing to something. Having said that, I still struggle with it from time to time. I think it's some sort of defense mechanism...but I'll leave that analysis to the psychologists...

ART OF THE DAY

"The Awakening of Adonis" by John William Waterhouse

Adonis was a god in Greek Mythology. People talk about heaven all the time but seldom do people talk about heaven in visual terms. I love visual reproductions of a person's perception of heaven.

HOW MANY PINA COLLADAS CAN YOU DRINK IN HEAVEN BEFORE YOU VOMIT?

So I wasn't completely sure what I was going to post today. But as I ran through my first blog comments (Thank you Polly!) I came across an interesting point. Polly commented that her idea of Heaven is boring - vast stretched of beautiful landscape and people wearing angel smiles. "Hell", she said, seems exciting, controversial and well, more interesting. I never really thought about it that way!

I remember people commenting on how perfection is boring because you have nothing to work towards. And that "winning" is bitter-sweet...because it's the end of the task. Is Heaven similar? Can you actually get bored with Heaven? Eternity is a long time - what do people do up there?! I suppose my idea of Heaven is more a concept where whatever you want Heaven to be, it becomes. So in my friend Polly's case maybe she'll turn Heaven into Hell.

I've half-joked before that I think Earth is Hell. Well, what if it's Heaven? Lets say your time comes up and you are lifted up to the gates of Heaven. Peter asks you, "close your eyes and imagine your Heaven. When you walk through the gate, that's what you will have." What if I close my eyes and I imagine being back on Earth? Another chance. So here I am...in Heaven.

If Peter told you the same thing, what would you imagine as you walked through the gate?

Second question - if you can pick one moment in time to freeze for eternity, what would it be?

GOD SAYS, "I DON'T KNOW. I'LL TALK TO GOD."

Hypothetical: (Assuming there is a God) What if God had a God? What if somehow we found a way to speak to God and came to realize that this higher power had an even HIGHER power? What would that mean, if anything? I suppose it would seriously diminish our ego. And of course, the fact that we had found some way to speak to God would be a pretty big deal.

Here is another question: If we had absolute PROOF that there was a God, would you change your life at all? If so, how and why?

Off the top of my head, I'm not sure what I would change. Also, I suppose an existence of God doesn't necessarily mean an existence of heaven. Maybe that is the better question: If we had scientific proof of heaven, would you change anything in your life?

I should probably think about this question more often...