I few years ago I went through a critical transformation. I can't really remember the exact point where it had ended. What I do remember is that I woke up one day and realized I had accepted who I was. I may not have been COMPLETELY comfortable with it, but I accepted it. And I was certainly MORE comfortable with it than I had been previously. It was a tough road but one that, once complete, was well worth it and made life much more enjoyable.
For a short period of time I thought it was the ONLY major transformation I would go through in life. The big one. Finding myself. But I realize now that there are more to come. We are a constant evolution. Which is scary. Which is why I think people fight it - as I did. Eventually people either win and move on, stay where they are and lose, or sadly, take a step back and give themselves one hell of an uphill battle to fight. I wanted to stay where I was even though I was pretty miserable. I was comfortable there. Eventually I gave in and "shed my cocoon." It was like reintroducing myself to my family, friends and life. It was as uncomfortable a time as I can remember. Some people accept the "new you," some people don't. That's unfortunate.
But "finding myself" isn't really all that accurate. I believe I'm still finding myself each day. The transformation I'm speaking of was the first hurdle - overcoming expectations and social pressure. Completing that first challenge makes the next one much easier...I imagine. I know it makes life much easier. It's confidence you gain. Maybe not in every area you would like but certainly a general confidence in yourself.
I have a good friend that I believe got stuck in this transformation stage and has never taken the risk to peel the skin and reveal what is underneath. He portrays himself as the same person now as he was at 16. The funny thing is that I don't think anyone buys it anymore. It's a farce. It would be better for him to take the risk and be more open than allow people to place their assumptions on him. I'm a pretty guarded person in certain areas and on certain topics so I should take this advice - it's so much easier to say than do.
I have another friend that I think is going through this transformation now. And I am so excited for her because I can see and feel the confidence building in her that was nonexistent previously. It's a strange feeling to be excited for her because it is due to some really difficult obstacles she is encountering in her life that I believe is pushing her through this stage. And I care for her so much that all I want is life to be kind to her. I think it's probably relative to each person but I think her obstacles are more difficult than the ones I encountered. I wonder if that will make her stronger than if they had been less traumatic? But, as I said, if it's relative maybe it doesn't matter. Now that I've written this down I'm rethinking the relative comment...
I love the phrase, "when life throws you a lemon, make lemonade." I wish I could live like that. Maybe after my next transformation...
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3 comments:
I love this phrase too!!!!!!!!!!! we have the same exactly one in portugues and I used to think about it! In the other post you said something about the grass is greener...we also have that is portugues :)
I think transformation depends how unconfortable the situation is...maybe your friend whom seems the same than when he was 16 doesn't have true reason to move on, he may still be confortable...and the other one can't take it anymore.
xoxoxo
As far as going through transformations, I think that we will go through them until the day we die. That excites me to the very core...I never looked kindly on transformation until I reached the other side of one...However, for your friend that is experiencing her transformation, may she revel in the pain and struggle because it really takes you to such an amazing feeling of accomplishment on the day that you realize you made it through and are voyaging on to the next one...this is also for her and anyone else that maybe thinks too much about tomorrow:
Prayer for Discernment
Father,
I know you love me and have plans for me. But sometimes I am overwhelmed by the thought of my future. Show me how to walk forward one day at a time. May I take heart while I search openly, learn all about the choices, listen to others for advice, and pay attention to my own feelings. By doing these things, may I hear your call to live a life that will let me love as only I can, and allow me to serve others with the special gifts you have given me.
Thanks Anne. I think I am guilty of thinking too much about tomorrow as well. I think it's good to think about tomorrow but not if it impedes your ability to enjoy life...which happens to me too often.
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