MY RIGHT EYE IS THE COOL ONE, MY LEFT EYE JUST LOOKS AT ME FUNNY.

Self Respect verse Self Esteem. Over the past several years I believe I've developed a healthy sense of self respect. Something that was missing for most of my life. Without getting into the details, it has been generated from being at some rather low points in life and realizing either something had to change or nothing would change. The fact is, I didn't like myself at all. I still have the occasional problem with not liking myself so much but, at a minimum, I can feel better about how I TRY to conduct myself - helping raise my self respect.

By definition, self respect and self esteem are the same. I'm going to argue that they are NOT the same. Interested? Me too.

By self respect I mean, liking the person I'm trying to be. By self esteem I mean, liking the person I am.

I imagined once I raised my self respect, my self esteem would follow. And I can't say that has really been the case. I mean, I certainly have more self esteem than I did five years ago, but not nearly to the level I would expect. I thought self respect and self esteem went hand in hand. Apparently I was wrong.

Now I want to reiterate that I am not having a major problem with my self esteem as I had previously in my life. It's just that it isn't at a level on par with my self respect. It keeps me from having the overwhelming sense of confidence I see in all these wall street types in NYC. Of course I don't want to be quite like that but I wouldn't mind doubting myself a little less.

So the question becomes - WHY is self respect so different from self esteem (if you buy into them being separate)? I know how to raise my self respect, but I'm not sure I understand how to raise my self esteem. There is, however, a problem involved with me and self esteem... I feel uncomfortable with it. I'm not very good with praise or compliments which may explain why my self esteem seems to hover around the same level. That is a problem only a therapist could love I'm afraid. None the less, I think people confuse self respect with self esteem and I think they are vastly different from one another. Anyone agree?