TO YOU I BEQUEATH MY HE-MAN ACTION FIGURE

Well, I'm mostly all packed up and ready to go on my trip to Spain. My excitement is tinged with nervousment particularly because I have never been on a vacation this long. Prior to this, my longest vacation was one week...and other than Canada, has never been international. I don't really have an itinerary set because I want to be completely free. I know areas I want to visit but if something comes up I'll be able to quickly change my plans without having to worry about hotel/hostel/train reservations. I hope to come back with a host of good stories and pics...and of course new revelations on life and the direction I am heading.

This won't surprise those of you who know me well, basically because I'm a morbid son of a bitch, but I drafted a will last night (knock on wood) just in case my plane goes down or something goes terribly wrong on this trip. I'll be visiting a few areas where Americans aren't the most popular people - like Basque country and Morocco. I don't have much to give to anyone but I wanted to make sure a few things were taken care of and also that I said a few things I would want to say. I'm not even sure that this will would be official because I didn't have a witness or a notary but whatever.

Writing this will was interesting. Now I'll admit that I've often daydreamed about my funeral. I know, it's weird, but I've done it. And I look around the church at who would be there, who would be truly sad, what the speakers would say, even how I would look in the casket (never good of course). Writing a will was different, it made me think about my most cherished possessions and who I would want to have them. It made me think about those people around me that would even WANT anything from me - and would THEY cherish what I gave them? I actually enjoyed it. Not surprising. My journals, and there are many, were what I was most concerned about. On one hand I don't want anyone reading them ever. And on the other hand I wonder if anything in them would help anyone.

In any case, my brother received most everything. My Hermano and I are really close - we speak for hours each week and I'd trust him to distribute everything. Plus I sort of feel like he would want to be the one in charge.

I know all of this probably sounds crazy but I enjoy thinking about my mortality. I really do. I think it keeps me focused and my life prioritized in a way I can feel good about. And believe it or not, I get this trait from my mother. She told me ten years ago that she was ready to die, not because she was super unhappy but rather because she wanted heaven so bad. And everyone wonders why I'm so strange...

Tomorrow will be my final post until March 25th when I return. It's so close!