You know that feeling you get just before you place yourself in a situation outside of your comfort zone? A situation like approaching a person in a bar or jumping off a high-dive diving board. You get those butterflies in your stomach and your adrenaline is pumping. You tell yourself to calm down and then you concentrate really hard on putting any doubt aside...you numb your mind. It gives you just enough time to leap before the doubts return.
Well, I can feel the beginning of the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I feel a little nervous, like I'm getting closer to an inevitable fate. I feel strongly that come January 1, 2008 I will make a decision on the next big move in my life and that it will be a radical one - for me at least. I can't shake this feeling that I've already decided to do something outside my comfort zone. I don't know what it is exactly but I can tell I'm heading down that path. It's scary...and exciting. I'm interested in knowing exactly what I'll do but I know myself and I can tell that I'm preparing to make a somewhat drastic change in my life. I felt this way just before I moved to NYC from Michigan - a process that took less than 2 weeks from decision to execution.
So now I just keep my eyes and heart open and see what strikes me as the right opportunity. I'm waiting for that wave of energy to carry me away. I wonder where it'll take me?
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4 comments:
Just popping in to say nice site.
I ate the butterfly too. Ever since my life has been turned upside-down. Am I tied to the butterflies fate? I need to know how far the metaphor can be taken. Will I go through a metamorphosis? Is it driven by a biological imperative imprinted in my DNA, that is inevitable? If I make it through the change am I doomed to the butterflies fate?
You aren't tied to the butterfly, I promise. It's all a choice. The butterly I felt when I wrote this was a "want", I just didn't know it yet. Life is short, it's fragile, yet tough. Mold your butterfly. I wish you a happy and healthy 2011 - make the year what you will. Make it great.
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