IF STUPIDITY IS HEREDITARY I SHOULD GET MY VASECTOMY NOW

I don't know if it's an act of selfishness or just plain stupidity but I recently spoke to a close friend of mine about my reservations in confronting my friend that has been cheating on his wife (see "18-year-old strippers are hard to argue with" post).

This friend I confided in is one of only three people (or so) in my life I talk to about really personal things. The problem is that I spoke to her about how I am beginning to think that the chances are much greater that a marriage contains a cheating spouse rather than not. This friend is currently very close to becoming engaged to her long-time boyfriend and has trust issues in general. So here I am, just months before an expected proposal, talking to her about how hard marriages must be and how I think it may actually be "typical" for a spouse to cheat at some point. Today this friend e-mailed me saying she can't stop thinking about how I think cheating may be typical and how afraid she is of that happening to her. If I was playing psychologist I'd say this friend has shown throughout her past a tendency to justify relationship break-ups due to her mistrust and fear of infidelity (or maybe even just a fear of being hurt). I now feel very responsible for contributing to her doubts, which are normal I think, but don't need to have the flames fanned by me. I told her not to let fear control her emotions, which I believe is true. But I know fully well that knowing that is one thing and putting it to practice is quite another.

I was either being selfish because I needed to talk to someone and she is my standby OR I was just not thinking and should have taken her current situation into account before unloading my problems...and contributing to hers.

Relationships and love are so complicated. I'm not sure they have to be but in my world, they definitely are.