Is the desire to make the world a better place an egotistical goal? Is it arrogant? Before I close my eyes for the last time I would like to think that I made a positive difference in the world - one that will ripple along for decades...maybe even forever. I have no idea how I'm going to do this. Deep down in my soul I feel like I can achieve this goal. I suppose that's where the arrogance comes in. Anyhow, I firmly believe that the greatest contribution one can make to life is to raise a child well. That is a contribution that will touch and "ripple" for such a long time. But lets say that children aren't in my future - what is my alternative?
If a family isn't in the stars for me then I suppose the opportunities are pretty wide open. Almost as endless as the pain and injustice throughout the world that seeks a remedy. Where to start? What makes me think my ideals or ideas are right? What if my idea of change, backed by good intentions, is more harmful than positive? What if I reach above my potential? Maybe I don't have the talent to make a huge change in the world. Maybe I'm supposed to live life like so many people do, simply surviving and making a quiet contribution that may not be fully realized by anyone...but exists.
Can I be happy with a "quiet contribution" assuming I realize the positive impact I had? Even if it's only affecting one person? It sure seems less satisfying to me but I suppose I'll take what I can get. There are so many people that make quiet contributions in the world while simply trying to survive. But if I'm not going to have a family (an ordinary life) then I want to be extraordinary in another arena making positive strides. I almost feel it's a necessity in my life.
Oh geez, now that I re-read what I just wrote I feel more arrogant than ever. Feeling a necessity to be extraordinary? What makes me so special? What makes me believe I can be extraordinary? I don't know. I'm just at an exciting crossroads in my life where within the next year I think I will have the opportunity to decide where my life heads. But more than that, I feel like things have been set up in my life so that the near future lends itself to being my most productive. So what will I do? What should I do? I'll just keep chugging along and hoping I'm heading in the right direction...but I'm keeping my eyes open for something extraordinary...
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