I don't know if this holds true for everyone but I was wondering, what makes people feel lonely or isolated? What makes us feel different? Is it because we feel misunderstood? Or maybe because we feel people can't relate to certain emotions or ideas we have?
I understand a feeling of loneliness or isolation that can come from not believing anyone else could possibly feel like you do. It's something I carry with me quite often. It's not an arrogant emotion - as if I'm special for feeling this way when others can't - it's a burdening, lack of confidence, "I don't belong" emotion.
What I can't understand is why I can't see it from a different perspective. Wouldn't it be great if you could look at yourself and instead of seeing someone "different" you see someone "unique"? Instead of seeing someone "strange" you see someone "special"? How often do you meet someone and think, "gee, that person is exactly like me in every way"? Never! Because no one (I don't think) contains the same exact bundle of attributes. That's why our DNA is completely unique. So why do I find it so hard to look at the traits that distinguish me from others as being special instead of a burden? Why do I feel different and strange instead of proudly unique? I suppose it's all in my perspective. I wish I would embrace it instead of shun it.
How we look at ourselves is one thing, but something I can't reconcile is when we feel as if no one can relate to us. Not in general really, but rather emotionally or even with very specific thoughts. Part of me tells myself that there is always someone out there that feels the same way, the world is too big. I just haven't met them yet. I use books, art and movies to act as a placeholder for my comfort. In the end we all want a human understanding.
I bet you think I got off track here, right? What I guess I'm saying is, if I could see myself as having "special" traits instead of "strange" or "different" traits I think it might go a long way towards curing my "unrelatable syndrome."
If only it was an easy fix...
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4 comments:
It is always interesting to me how men generally view themselves as complicated - as though no one else in the world is. How about a different shit in perspective altogether: I think it is more a personal choice to feel lonely or misunderstood. You want that drama in your life. When we get down to the nitty gritty - humans, all of us, are a complex labyrinth of emotions and feelings. And all that we are really searching for is love.
Another comment...Yay! Even though it's anonymous I love it just the same. I agree with what you say although I disagree with it being a sex trait. I actually find my feelings in this blog more closely relate to females...which disturbs me slightly but whatever. As you say my perspective is a choice in a way, but when was that choice made? Somewhere along the way it became a part of me and I find it terribly difficult to change. And you're right, I don't want to change it really. I'm afraid to change it. It's me. And I don't know how to feel about that. I didn't mean this post to come off as if I was the only one who felt complicated. I think everyone feels that way. Men and women alike. Thanks for reading, I don't promote this blog so I'm always amazed when someone finds it. And I LOVE when they leave comments...except when it's spam. Your friend, Pagoda.
i like you use the word "joy-challenged", started me reading,
and i agree i feel lonely sometimes because i feel misunderstood or even worse people not care to understand me or to understand what i care.
most of time i accept that and tell myself that's Ok, but deep down I do wish to be understood once awhile, at least.
msg on "world is flat" because though i may live in totally nowhere but still i am able to read your thinking or stories, this world is flat
I LOVE the "World is Flat." I think it's one of the best books I've read in a while and predicts the future of culture. We are living in a really interesting and exciting time.
I'm glad you found my blog and find some use for it. Please feel free to comment at any time, I really enjoy hearing people's thoughts.
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