I will, most likely, never consider myself a "New Yorker." There are so many things I love about NYC - the fact that you can get ANYTHING delivered at 4 am on a Sunday, the energy, the classic movie theaters, the fruit stands, the skyline. I could go on. What I did not include in this list is, "the people." Now I've met some absolutely wonderful people in New York. I've made some great friends...BUT...overall I'm not a fan of the mentality here. Money rules Manhattan and it just seems so absurd to me. People (I'm generalizing) seem more concerned with the brand name of their over-sized sunglasses than anything else. And it sucks people in. I've witnessed first hand the arrival of fellow mid-westerners with their core religious values, eye's wide at the towering skyscrapers turn into Hyde. It doesn't take long before they are using their credit cards to buy goods while skimping on food. I understand the need to fit in...I just don't like it when "fitting in" means what it means in Manhattan.
As I said, I've made great friends in NYC but MOST of the people I meet I can't relate to, or don't want to relate to. The priorities are messed up. I think I mentioned in an earlier post about the evening I had with an ex-coworker (someone I would say is a friend but someone who fits in the above characterization), where her and her husband spent twenty minutes debating back and forth over who bought who the more expensive, prestigious gifts. It was shameful. It literally turned my stomach. I know I shouldn't be chastising people for how they want to live life. It's their prerogative. But, as you know, I'm searching for a greater peace and these types of life philosophies bother me. I feel like THEY are hurting themselves. But THEY seem happier than me so who's the idiot here? Anyhow, I also believe in social conditioning. I feel strongly for those who are given less of a chance in life because of what they were born into or events they encountered. I suppose I need to have the same sympathy for those on the other end of the spectrum as well. If sympathy is deserving...as I said, some appear to be happier than most so...
Having said all this I can't stand when people put NYC down. I do feel a kinship here. Sharing the city with 8 million people everyday, on the subway and across crowded streets will do that. I find New York lonely (a side-effect of the above mentality I think) and incredibly romantic as well. I will always have a place in my heart for New York. I just don't feel like I fit in with the majority of the inhabitants. Then again, I think that's something that makes New York great - everyone is represented.
Since I consider myself one giant paradox maybe New York City was the place for me. When the time comes for me to leave this city I'll tip my hat to it as I gallop along to a quieter retreat.
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